Okay sorry for the blog tease

Hello. It’s been a long minute and I’ve live a lot of life since we’ve last talked. As I am sure you have also done as well. But the lot of life I have lived it is why we haven’t talked (sorry about that.)

So lets speed run this so we can get caught up and reacquainted with each other. After I lost my Instagr*m and made a single blog post, Los angeles caught on fire. I am safe, but I do live in Pasadena so I felt it and saw it all around me. I didn’t know how to move forward with life. I was fine but I still had to go to work and grocery shop and do being alive things and I didn’t know how to do that with the tremendous amount of survivor’s guilt I was feeling as well as the guilt of “I should be doing more.” I donated time and money but it didn’t feel like enough. I also felt guilt for being upset about losing my Instagram (even in my own private mind) when people were losing their literal houses. And that’s a whole other conversation. Anyways, that took me out of commission for a bit. But because of the chaos, I ended up meeting someone and having a conversation that ultimately encouraged me to take an animation class at my community college. So I have been learning to animate over the last 6 months.

About a month later, I lost a job that I had dedicated a lot of time to and that was also pretty disappointing. And in losing that job, I lost some friends in that process too. And to be clear, I am perfect and funny and charming and I did nothing to get me fired from the job, just the project had ended and there wasn’t the budget to renew my contract. But with the amount of extra stuff I had done during my time there and with some contradicting information being communicated with me, I was pretty rocked.

During all of this, I have been really contemplating what to do next and what it meant to lose my art account. It isn’t necessarily the end of the world, but I am someone who believes in signs and believes that things will work out the way they are supposed to. So losing my art account (and then my creative consultant position) has really made me wonder if I should still be trying to make something happen or if I should pay attention to all the things going wrong and stop being self indulgent and maybe go back to school for something more “adult.” After 6 months of contemplating, I still can’t figure out where or what I should be working towards.

Now you might have seen…. but as of last week I got my instagram back. Fairly randomly I was fixing another social media related problem and it somehow “unlocked” and un-deleted by old account. It’s a long story that I don’t know if it’s really worth telling (unless you’re dying to know then let me know. I never want to leave the fans waiting).But just know that there were tears when I got it back. SOO now…. who knows really what I should be doing or what’s right or whatever. Losing my Instagr*m, I realized I was in a certain cycle and I wasn’t pushing myself to grow as a business person, as an artist. I wasn’t taking risks anymore. So I haven’t posted since I got my account back, and there really is no way to know what I should be doing, but I hadn’t given up yet and now that it is back I’m not gunna start. I will move forward slowly and figure it out while I go and hopefully push myself in ways that I haven’t been doing in a while. So far I feel excited. Stay tuned to more art and potentially blog posts.

I started integrating some more art on my main Instagr*m (kinda).

A short animation I made for one of my class projects.

I put my literal boots to the ground and got my first children’s book in two local stores. Shout out to Pop Hop and North Figueroa Bookshop, both in Highland park.

I also did fun things like went to Bob Baker’s Day and baseball games and stuff and also I started dating someone but that’s all I am going to say about that.