Guys! Hello! So a few days ago it was my birthday and I turned 27. Yippee! naturally, I have been doing a lot of reflecting over the last year. 26 was one of the hardest years for me personallyyyyy. A lot of sadness, growing pains, and stretching myself to new levels. but also there was a lot fun and good things too. I was recently giving the feedback that I can be a little negative. I like to think of my negativity as me being not that serious and cute and funny. But apparently I am just a drag so I am trying to be more positive. My dad used to always tell me “have a good day, or not. The choice of yours.” And while that PISSED ME OFF in high school, it is rather true. So this year was hard, but it was good. I finally started bellydancing (something I have said I would do for years now at this point). I am close to being able to do the splits (also a goal of a few years at this point). I started learning spanish and taking private lessons (also also another goal I’ve had for years). I got a roommate. While I loved living alone, we have a cute home and I have more expendable income for things like yoga and belly dancing and Spanish lessons. I also have gone on this cool nail art journey and learned to rip an apple in half with my bare hands. I also have learned what it is like to love people and love myself in a new way. And plenty of other things but that is all that comes to mind in this very brief moment of reflection.

In total honesty, something I have come to realize this year is I am plagued with indecision. In many ways, I am very opinionated. But in others, I often rely on others to make decisions for me. I honestly don’t care about many things so I always viewed my deflection as not that serious. But deflecting decision making can also make you stagnant and take away some responsibility from your actions. And I feel like the past few years I have suffered the consequences of that but never really put it together in my brain. Specifically, I have struggled to make decisions when it comes to my life and the direction I am ultimately headed. I am super hard working and Type A, which is why I think I have failed to realize this sooner. But it’s basically smacking me in the face at the current moment so I had to stop playing dumb. I have been super lucky, and for the past two years I had a social media job that paid me an insane amount of money for practically no work. It was for a big company that recently got bought out. And when I heard that happened I knew my time was probably going to come to an end. And it did. On my birthday. I woke up to a beautiful little email on the morning of July 16th informing me that I was to quit working immediately and send over a last invoice because the whole company was going dark as they are going through an entire rebrand.

So like good for them, and I knew it was coming but also now I am stressed. It was a job that supported my ability to be indecisive and supported my art. So now it is time to actually commit to one of the things I have been considering and take some action in my life because I am about to be broke lol That really freaks me out. I am trying to not think about what has the best retirement plan but maybe just what can better support me in this next chapter and what even is most important in this next chapter. I don’t have everything figured out and no one ever does but I quite literally out of necessity have to do my best and move forward. So 27 cheers to 27! I honestly am excited for this next year and to see what will happen. And it is quite literally out with the old, in with the new. Or one door closes so another one can open or whatever your cliche of choice is at the moment.

One time for the birthday bitch

I have never been a flexible girl